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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28152489">A Backstage Pass to the Puppet-Crazy and Crazy-Puppet</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChipAndDealer/pseuds/ChipAndDealer'>ChipAndDealer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gravity Falls, Hello Puppets (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, But here it is, Crossovers &amp; Fandom Fusions, Don't know why this occurred to me, Everyone else tries not to, Gabe Bensen is the Host, Gen, Mystery Twins, Not by a lot they're in like early twenties, Scout swears, They got the talk show, Well Scout lives anyway, talk to the hand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:14:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28152489</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChipAndDealer/pseuds/ChipAndDealer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The audience lights turned off, a screen hanging above lighting up with the words, 'quiet please,' as the show's opening jingle began playing.</p>
<p>"She's got strong opinions, he's the picture of calm, doesn't matter the conditions, she'll just stay on his palm. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's Host and it's Scout. Who knows what he's got planned, but time to strike up the band, the show's about to start, so let's Talk to the Hand." The retro-styled quintet sang, sounding like they were plucked right from the fifties, audio tinniness and all.</p>
<p>"Think it's a ghost?" Mabel suggested.</p>
<p>"The puppet?" Dipper shrugged. "Could be. Puppeteer, freak accident, ghost takes the puppet, but why would her unfinished business be hosting a talk show?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dipper Pines &amp; Mabel Pines, Gabe Bensen &amp; Scout (Hello Puppets)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Backstage Pass to the Puppet-Crazy and Crazy-Puppet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello Puppets isn't a long game, and it doesn't go too in depth with its mechanics, but it's been a while since I've seen a horror game that drips with this much potential. Really hoping they make a sequel and looking forward to seeing what kind of crazy stuff happens there.</p>
<p>In the meantime, here's the Mystery twins.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dipper was running on a perfectly fine amount of sleep, thank you very much, no matter what Mabel said. The dark circles around his eyes were just the remnants of bruises from the fight with the wererabbit last week (damn rabbit punches) and his legs twitching was just a bit of nervousness and not some kind of sign that his coffee intake had eclipsed his actual sleep.</p>
<p>Really, Mabel was overreacting.</p>
<p>"I'm just saying, we can see the show another day," she prodded, voice gentle but with some frustration leaking in. "Like a day where you don't look like the first wave of a zombie apocalypse."</p>
<p>"We've been in a zombie apocalypse." Dipper smirked, sardonically. "I think we'll manage."</p>
<p>"But how will I be able to tell if you're infected, Dipper?" She grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him up, shouting melodramatically. "How will I be able to tell?"</p>
<p>"I feel like a zombie apocalypse during a puppet show is double dipping the weirdness a little too much, even for the universe." Dipper wiggled his feet ineffectually from his position several inches off the ground. "So are you planning on carrying me in, or...?"</p>
<p>Mabel set him down, not a hint of embarrassment or self consciousness at the attention they'd drawn showing in her grin. She might not have been very big, her physique was more swimmer than bodybuilder and Dipper had a good few inches on her in height by then, but what Mabel had was a hundred and thirty-nine pounds of pure muscle, give or take a pound of glitter. "Now you're asking for trouble," she warned, following him into the studio. "There's bound to be a puppet-themed zombie apocalypse after you said that."</p>
<p>Dipper rolled his eyes fondly, making his way through security and finding a pair of seats one away from the front row for he and Mabel to take part in the studio audience.</p>
<p>He didn't know where she'd acquired the bag of popcorn she sat down with. Mabel had a tendency to get a hold of things Dipper didn't even know where to start looking for them, case in point - a personal invitation backstage after the show. "Any idea what it is?" She asked, popping another few pieces into her mouth.</p>
<p>"Could be nothing," Dipper hedged. "Just got a weird feeling about it, that's all."</p>
<p>She nudged him in the side, giving him a confident smile and a thumbs up. "That's good enough for me."</p>
<p>Dipper chuckled as his eyes turned to the stage. After so much exposure to magic and monsters, even to the point of being directly possessed by a demon, he had developed a... sensitivity to weirdness. It gave false positives, sometimes, or didn't pick up on some things until right before the kindly old inventor turned into a giant rabbit and tried to eat them, but Mabel had trust in it, so generally it was what they used.</p>
<p>If worst came to worst, they'd wasted a bit of time and saw a bad puppet show. No big loss, really.</p>
<p>Dipper stretched in his seat. Maybe if the puppet show was really bad, he'd catch a quick nap during it.</p>
<p>Not that he needed it, of course.</p>
<p>The audience lights turned off, a screen hanging above lighting up with the words, 'quiet please,' as the show's opening jingle began playing.</p>
<p>"She's got strong opinions, he's the picture of calm, doesn't matter the conditions, she'll just stay on his palm. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's Host and it's Scout. Who knows what he's got planned, but time to strike up the band, the show's about to start, so let's Talk to the Hand." The retro-styled quintet sang, sounding like they were plucked right from the fifties, audio tinniness and all.</p>
<p>The stage lights came on as the screen changed to 'applause,' a command the studio audience was only too happy to comply with.</p>
<p>"Thank you, thank you." The beaming blonde puppeteer gushed as he walked onstage. "I'm your Host, Gabe Bensen, this is Scout," he held up a pale puppet with bright blue twintails, decked out in a miniature version of the same black suit Gabe himself was wearing, "and welcome to Talk to the Hand, we're so glad you could make it."</p>
<p>"Well, you're glad," Scout differed, giving the closest approximation to a shrug a puppet could give. "I really couldn't give a damn if these people showed up or not."</p>
<p>Dipper raised an eyebrow. No amount of ventriloquism could match that puppeteer's voice to that puppet's. For that matter, that name sounded familiar as well. Gabe Bensen, Dipper wracked his brain, where had he heard it before?</p>
<p>"You don't like an audience?" Gabe asked, gesturing out to the crowd.</p>
<p>"Are they paying to be here?" Scout shot back, mildly curious.</p>
<p>"I don't know," he looked out at the audience, eyebrows furrowed. "I think some of them are."</p>
<p>"Them, I'm happy they're here." She gave a wide smile, just different enough from her expression before that it set Dipper on edge. "Keep giving us money," she called out with a bright wave.</p>
<p>Gabe sighed, touching his free hand to the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Could you at least pretend to have a bit of artistic integrity while we're actively doing the show?"</p>
<p>"Hey, artistic integrity don't keep the lights on." The lights went out. "See what I mean?"</p>
<p>With a click, Scout's eyes lit up, illuminating Gabe and part of the stage with it. Gabe looked offstage, at some producer or other. "Have all the guests left yet? Is the show off the air?" The producer gave an indecipherable answer. "What, they haven't?" There was a pause. "Why?"</p>
<p>The producer said something else, but even straining his ears Dipper couldn't understand it.</p>
<p>Whatever it was, Gabe shrugged in response. "Alright, well send the first one out." He turned to the audience. "Who wants to do the show in the dark?" He yelled, and the audience didn't need an applause sign to know what to do.</p>
<p>Dipper couldn't help but chuckle at the performance. He could whine all he wanted about being forced into Grunkle Stan's tourist attractions, but the man's showmanship was infectious, and it was easy to tell Gabe was the same way.</p>
<p>Even when the lights cut out, the cameras were still on.</p>
<p>The first guest came on, some actor promoting his next movie, and Dipper relaxed in his chair and let the talk show wash over him.</p>
<p>"Should I take that to mean the puppet's clear?" Mabel whispered, her popcorn bag long discarded.</p>
<p>"Not by a long shot," he differed. "No, that's magic. I'm sure of it."</p>
<p>"Dangerous?" Her body tensed involuntarily. The protective streak she felt for her twin could only be described as vicious, but thankfully,</p>
<p>"Maybe, but this show is where they want to be. They won't do anything stupid if we don't provoke them." They wouldn't need it just yet. "Let's wait until we're backstage to worry about that."</p>
<p>Mabel nodded, relaxing too, but watching the show with a slightly more reserved edge. "I hate puppets," she mumbled.</p>
<p>Dipper scratched the scars on his arm. "No kidding."</p>
<p>The show continued, a few more guests sharing interviews, playing games, and doing what they could to promote whatever of their products forced them onto the talk show circuit. The general pattern was that Gabe played the straight man, or comedic foil to Scout's more profanity-filled practicality. The combination was good, they were obviously well fitted for each other, but the direct abrasiveness of some of Scout's statements or questions was something a few of the guests struggled to adapt to. Honestly, that just made it funnier.</p>
<p>There was also a musical guest, and a pre-filmed segment of various skits and interviews conducted on the street. If Dipper thought seeing the puppet act the way it was in the studio was unsettling before, seeing it continue to function, voice, movement, and all in the more uncontrollable city streets was a step beyond.</p>
<p>Soon enough, though, the show wound down to an end and the audience was let go. One of the PA's told Dipper and Mabel to wait by the side and they'd be let backstage to talk to Gabe and Scout in a few minutes, so they dutifully complied, letting the timer run down.</p>
<p>"Think it's a ghost?" Mabel suggested.</p>
<p>"The puppet?" Dipper shrugged. "Could be. Puppeteer, freak accident, ghost takes the puppet, but why would her unfinished business be hosting a talk show?"</p>
<p>Mabel looked around at the cameras and various members of the production flitting around the set. "Maybe she wants to be a TV star?"</p>
<p>"Has that not already happened?" Dipper shook his head. "Either way there's easier ways of going about it. No, it doesn't feel right."</p>
<p>Mabel hesitated, but forced herself to ask the question anyway. "Demon?"</p>
<p>Dipper didn't answer for a minute or two. "No," he said, eventually. "If it was, we'd get backup."</p>
<p>She gave a relieved sigh, leaning back against the wall as more PA's flurried around them. "So this is something new, then."</p>
<p>"Something weird," Dipper confirmed with a slight smile. "Now we just have to find out if it's something dangerous."</p>
<p>"Excuse me. Scout and Gabe can see you now," an intern informed them, guiding them between cameras and setpieces into the dressing rooms. The one with the star on the door, obviously, belonged to Gabe.</p>
<p>Dipper's brow furrowed as he read the name off the door again. Gabe Bensen, where had he heard that name before?</p>
<p>The intern knocking on the door, temporarily broke Dipper from his musings, and after a muffled invitation in, the twins entered the dressing room.</p>
<p>"Mabel Pines," Gabe greeted, standing up from his chair and crossing the room to wrap her in a quick hug before withdrawing again. The puppet was still on his hand, but that wasn't any big surprise, what he said next was, though. "So good to see you, again."</p>
<p>"Thanks for letting us back here," Mabel answered, expression a little forced, but Dipper was pretty sure he was the only one who could tell that. "I know it was pretty short notice."</p>
<p>Gabe smiled, knowingly, leaning back in his chair. "Ah, but how could I deny the request of a beautiful woman, a fellow puppeteer, and one of the saviors of Gravity Falls?"</p>
<p>Gravity Falls, Gabe Bensen, fellow puppeteer, the dots finally connected in Dipper's head. He whirled on Mabel. "This is Puppet-Crazy-Gabe?"</p>
<p>"He's got you pegged," Scout commented from his arm.</p>
<p>Gabe's deadpan glare at the puppet was his response, before turning back to address Dipper. "I prefer 'Master of Puppets Gabe,' but admittedly that name gets less traction."</p>
<p>"Master of jack shi-" Scout began to say, but Gabe hurriedly reached over to cover her mouth with his extra hand, smiling apologetically.</p>
<p>"I apologize for my partner," he emphasized the last word, glaring at the puppet who glared back with equal intensity. "It's been a long day. Was there something you wanted to see me about in particular? Some merchandise I could sign, perhaps?"</p>
<p>Mabel and Dipper exchanged glances. "Actually," Dipper stepped forward, gesturing to Scout. "We came to talk to you about her."</p>
<p>Scout went still, silent, and Gabe drew his hand with her back, protectively. "What about her?" He asked, voice guarded.</p>
<p>"What is she?" Dipper asked, point-blank. "And before you get any ideas about blowing us off, remember we are from Gravity Falls. We know."</p>
<p>Mabel moved to block the doorway, folding her arms across her chest. "This doesn't have to end badly, but we need to know what we're dealing with, or we'll have to take it away and find out, ourselves."</p>
<p>There was a beat or two where nobody moved, but after that Gabe sighed, leaning back in his chair and sharing a silent glance with Scout before speaking again. "You can't take her away."</p>
<p>Mabel shook her head. "I know you're friends, but-"</p>
<p>"You misunderstand me," he interrupted, not cruelly, but with force. "I'm not saying you shouldn't because of my emotional attachment. I'm saying you cannot because of my physical one." He rolled up the sleeve for the arm that contained Scout, and carefully unwrapped a cloth around his arm to reveal deep, gouging, stitches tying his flesh and Scout's felt together. "Scout is a part of me, just as I'm a part of her. We're partners."</p>
<p>"And that's not changing anytime soon," Scout interjected. "The guy may have a brain like salted tapioca, but we've been through a lot of shit together, and I'll be damned if he hasn't grown on me."</p>
<p>"We'll be discussing the tapioca comment later," Gabe muttered, darkly.</p>
<p>Both twins looked a bit pale after the reveal of the stitches, but Dipper recovered first. "How did it happen?"</p>
<p>Gabe hesitated for a moment, but a look from Scout had him talking again. "Do you remember Weirdmaggedon?"</p>
<p>It wasn't as ridiculous a question as it sounded. Between the Society of the Blind Eye, the law trying to prevent people from talking about it, and the fact they were all children at the time, there was no guarantee any of them would remember. But, "yes," Dipper answered. "We remember."</p>
<p>They'd probably never forget.</p>
<p>"My puppets attacked me." Gabe looked down at his hands, face shrouded in the memory. "They bit me, called me names, tried to..." he shook his head. "It should have put me off puppets forever, but I couldn't shake the feeling, even as they were attacking me that it wasn't them: these weren't my friends." He gave a smile that seemed much more like a grimace. "Whatever cataclysm Weirdmaggedon was, it hadn't brought my puppets to life, it just controlled them another way. Base manipulation like that can't scare me. I'm a puppeteer, it's what we deal with every day."</p>
<p>"I don't understand." Dipper shook his head. "All the weirdness should have been cleared away when Bill was destroyed. How did this puppet survive?"</p>
<p>"Scout's not some soulless Weirdmaggedon manipulation," Gabe snapped. "And don't interrupt, I'm getting to her."</p>
<p>Dipper held his hands up in surrender and let him continue.</p>
<p>Gabe cleared his throat. "As I was saying, what Weirdmaggedon did was simply another form of puppeteering, using the idea that my puppets had come to life against me, but it made me wonder at the alternative: what if my puppets really had come to life? What if there was some way..." he trailed off, looking down at Scout before bringing her forward again. "Well, there was some way."</p>
<p>Scout took over the story at that point, apparently already knowing the rest of the details by then. "So basically, Gabe had the brilliant idea to go trolling around for spooky ghost stories based around puppets coming to life, and after an embarrassing amount of false-starts, finally made his way to Handeemen Studios, where he met me."</p>
<p>Gabe stepped in. "The original creator of Mortimer's Handeemen somehow managed to bring the puppets to life with some kind of spell, but they didn't exactly turn out like he wanted..."</p>
<p>"You mean he didn't want a bunch of sadistic torturing fucks with a penchant for kidnapping and human/puppet experimentation?" Scout gasped, positively dripping with sarcasm. "Who the hell knew?"</p>
<p>"When I arrived at the studio, Mortimer Handee tried to use a spell on me to make me a brainwashed Host to carry Scout around and feed her with my psychic energy before I died horribly as a prisoner inside my own mind," Gabe continued.</p>
<p>Scout chimed in. "But it didn't work, and even though we were connected together at that point, he still had control of his body and his mind, which was no fucking good for the puppets in charge."</p>
<p>"So we escaped the studio, came back and torched it so they couldn't kidnap any more people, then started up this talk show," Gabe finished.</p>
<p>"The name was my idea," Scout added.</p>
<p>Dipper and Mabel looked at each other for a moment, then shakily made their way to some chairs. "That's... quite a story," Dipper forced out.</p>
<p>"Wait, so if Scout is feeding off your psychic energy, aren't you going to die in a few days?" Mabel posited.</p>
<p>Scout frowned, deeply. "The psychic energy isn't the reason all those Hosts kept dying."</p>
<p>Gabe scratched the back of his neck, visibly uncomfortable. "Most of the puppets found the bodily functions connected to their hosts to be... unpleasant. So, Riley, the puppet in charge of Host processing, would sew the mouths of the Hosts shut during the bonding process. It usually took about three or four days for the Host bodies to starve to death."</p>
<p>"Not a pretty sight, I'll tell you that much," Scout commented, grimly.</p>
<p>"The truth is, they didn't need to kill those Hosts at all." Gabe's frame was wracked with a shuddering sigh. "They did it for cruelty alone."</p>
<p>For an exorcism, for a sealing ritual, Dipper was running on a perfectly fine amount of sleep, thank you very much. For dealing with puppets who had souls, who sewed the mouths of people shut to silently scream as they were pulled along on strings, never to eat again, Dipper considered that he might need a nap.</p>
<p>"So what now?" Mabel asked, voicing the words on everyone's minds. "It doesn't seem like Scout's gonna try conquering the world anytime soon-"</p>
<p>"We'd have to conquer Nielsen, first," Scout muttered.</p>
<p>Mabel shrugged. "And it seems like the other Handeemen puppets aren't going to be an issue. So do we just leave them here?"</p>
<p>Dipper stared at Scout, locking eyes with the strange thing. Funnily enough, it wasn't puppets he thought of when he was staring into that glassy reflection, but wax. He remembered with visceral clarity, looking up at wax Sherlock Holmes' glassy eyes as the living statue lifted the axe to behead him.</p>
<p>Dipper closed his eyes. He had to remember, no matter what happened, what they were there for. Not every weird thing was wax Sherlock Holmes, or the Summerween Trickster, or Bill Cipher. They could also be Quentin Trembley, or Mermando, or Tyrone. All it would take was two teenagers with a wooden stake, silver bullets, and a hand mirror to go monster hunting; that wasn't what they were there for.</p>
<p>They were there to ask why.</p>
<p>"Use the Coin, I think we're just about done here," Dipper sighed, standing up.</p>
<p>"Is the Coin gonna wipe our brains or something? Like you were never here?" Scout asked, nervously.</p>
<p>"Nope," Mabel responded, brightly, withdrawing a small gold coin in a ziplock bag from her pants pocket. "Please take the coin out and bite into it. This is just a little check we've gotta make, and then we'll clear out."</p>
<p>Gabe raised an eyebrow warily, but did as she said, his teeth sinking into the gold of the coin. "Like this?"</p>
<p>"Perfect." Mabel beamed. "Do you certify that everything you've said in the conversation so far vis a vis puppets is true, to the best of your knowledge?"</p>
<p>Gabe felt an unnerving compulsion to nod in the affirmative, he was nowhere near able to resist.</p>
<p>"Do you believe that Scout represents a clear and present danger to yourself or others, now or in the future?" Mabel asked.</p>
<p>That compulsion again, this time forcing him to shake his head no.</p>
<p>Mabel looked to Dipper, but he waved a hand. "I think that's enough."</p>
<p>She nodded, turning back to Gabe. "You can spit out the coin, now."</p>
<p>He did so with extreme prejudice. "What the heck was that?"</p>
<p>She picked the coin off the ground and placed it gingerly back in the bag. "Formerly? A pair of really annoying gold teeth."</p>
<p>"Can we acknowledge that he said 'heck' just now?" Scout asked, looking at Gabe with something akin to disgust. "I would've taken a 'hell,' but that was at least a 'fuck' sentence."</p>
<p>"We really need to do something about your swearing," Gabe sighed.</p>
<p>Scout folded her puppet arms across her body as well as she could. "I was just about to say the same to you, buddy."</p>
<p>The twins laughed, making their short goodbyes before withdrawing from the studio. When they finally made it outside again, Dipper sat down, flipped his journal open and began sketching the start of Scout's face.</p>
<p>"Where to next?" Mabel asked, leaning on the wall beside him.</p>
<p>"Pacifica sent me a text during the show." Dipper continued sketching. "Apparently she got an invite from a certain doctor for a dinner party so he could show off his latest purchase: the Crows Emerald."</p>
<p>Mabel raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that the one Trembley mentioned at some point? The super cursed one?"</p>
<p>Dipper finished by writing, 'the Handeemen Puppets,' in clear bold letters at the top of the journal page before flipping it closed. "You can see why she'd want us to take a look."</p>
<p>Mabel cheered, pumping a fist in the air. "Fancy dress time on Pacifica's dime. Let's go." Before he could even respond, she grabbed him by the air and started pulling him down the street.</p>
<p>Dipper sighed with fond exasperation.</p>
<p>And Mabel wondered why he never got any sleep.</p>
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